Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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