My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
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Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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