Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
