how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
