Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
