She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
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I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
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the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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