Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
