i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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