worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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