weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
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