was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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