I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
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