where am i from again
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I'm at about main and main street
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
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