I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
