this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
