I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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