I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
