So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
