You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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