i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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