Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
