Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
