are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
