She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
