then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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