smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
