bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Randomize
