Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
