New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
