Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize