Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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