I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
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