so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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