i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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