Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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