just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
