you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Randomize