Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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