I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Randomize
