There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Alive.
So much puke
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
