birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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