How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
