I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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