i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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