I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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