margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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