He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
