Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.