I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize
