I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
