we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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