This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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