well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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