WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Randomize
