my soul wont recognize me after tonight
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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