so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
