I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize