If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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