oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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