i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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