i need an iv and a liver transplant
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
i think im in europe. pls send help
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
